I take poz cocks and poz cum every day, but I remain neg. I do not check it anymore, actually, because I am exposed daily, purposely, and because I could care less. I was born a faggot, a sissy, and have maintained a lifelong commitment to that destiny. Destiny, after all, may not be cajoled, coerced, or counted on; so a vast surrender – disembroiling myself from the ravelled, choking maze of caution – is my only strength.
As a thorough, open, publicly declared faggot, evident in all that I feel, think, say, and do, I cannot refuse cock, nor have I ever been inclined to do so. I take all cocks. Period. When men tell me they are poz, and ask me if I still want it, I tell them that their poz cum will be in the good company of the poz cum of all the other men who have fucked me that day. Many of them tell me after the fact. To these, I assure them their cocks and cum are quite welcome with me. Many men, of course, do not tell me. They figure that if I am taking bareback cocks at the gloryholes, and in porn arcades, and in gay sex clubs and bathhouses, and in public restrooms, and on Craigslist, and in other personal ads, and anywhere else I can get it, that I am open to taking poz cum. They are right.
When I quit drinking fifteen years ago after years of alcoholic drinking, one of the greatest advantages I gained was not having to wonder or worry any longer when, where, and how to buy my liquor for the day – the most pressing questions of the day, every day. For years, every day, I drank a minimum of three bottles of whisky, and a bottle of vodka, neat, of course.
Taking all cocks and cum indiscriminately is like refusing all alcohol indiscriminately. It is easy. No choice is required. All cocks, yes, always, you bet, give it to me, fuck me; no alcohol, never.
One of my favourite regular lovers is a black man with a thick eleven-inch cock. I love him dearly. He has been fucking me several times a week for seven years now. I love sucking his cock and eating his yummy butthole. He eats my fagcunt, too. We love to kiss – cock and cum-flavoured kisses – and snuggle, too. We first met at a gay sex club competing for the title of best cocksucker. He is versatile, and has that stunningly beautiful big black cock. I am a dedicated bottom faggot, my sissyclit, always small, but now much smaller after years of feminisation hormones, cannot do much good in either the mouth or the ass of any man. Nat, his name is Nat, after some debate amongst the judges, was awarded first prize. I was the first runner-up. Following the competition, Nat did suck me off. He loved my sweet cum. I sucked him, too, then asked him to fuck me. He told me that he was hiv+; so maybe not. I begged him to do it. Of course, he consented. We have been lovers ever since.
We meet at sex clubs several times a week. He usually gets a room where he can more privately feature his fabulous cock. I spend a some time at the gloryholes – a lot of time – and circulate as well sucking the cocks of tops who just dumped loads, and eating the asses of the bottoms just fucked. I also take as much cock as I can get on my own, often one after another after another.
While I am sucking anonymous gloryhole cock, strangers fuck me from behind. My cunt is oozing cum, cum rolling down my legs, cum dripping on the floor beneath me, pooling up at my heels. My sissycunt has been fucked so much for so long, it gapes in anticipation of cock. It is apparently quite inviting, difficult to resist, as men often line up to fuck me while I am sucking cock. I seldom look to see who is fucking me. I may feel a cock now and then driving in and out of me, but all I care about is the cum. I want more and more and more cum.
Nat and I usually meet up several times during the night to suck each other, to eat each other, and for him to fuck me. Both of us hit it as hard as we can, both indiscriminate of who we fuck – Nat – and who is fucking us. I go to the restrooms, too, and the showers, looking for used condoms to drain into my mouth, and to help men with their toilet needs. I love men to pee into my mouth. I love providing my tongue as an alternative to toilet paper after men shit. In the restrooms and showers of sex clubs, bathhouses, arcades, and porn cinemas, I have gotten lots and lots of dirty, nasty, yes, even filthy sex. I love it.
It is after hours of sex with other men, most or all of them anonymous strangers, that Nat and I retire to my place for the rest of the night. Of course, we suck some more, eat some more ass, and fuck some more. After our last fuck of the night, he stays inside me, holding his poz cum deep inside me much of the night, mixing it with all the other poz cum, and the neg cum, already packed inside me.
This is pure bliss: A Black man spooning me. His cock so deep inside me, as it has been inside so many other men that night alone, it feels part of me. His cum, breeding me, penetrating my tissues, entering my blood, blessed with the essence of his Black seed, blessed from his having been fucked by so many men, from having fucked so many men, toxic with their viruses, blessed with his own unique toxicity.
Faggots cannot refuse cock. I am a faggot.
I want to be pozzed. I really do. I want to be amongst those whose obsession for cock governs their lives, regardless of risk. Maybe it is the malaria. Maybe it is a lifetime abroad, in Africa and Asia. Maybe it is all the pee I drink and the shit I eat. Rest assured, I will keep trying.
I'll pump my poz seed deep inside you any day